After I released my first blog post “Pennies from Heaven,” I had some people ask questions about my journey, the answers to which, I thought, would lend themselves nicely to new blog posts!
First question: How did you know you were ready to take the next step, create a website and start seeing clients?
Answer: I wasn't sure that I was ready and had been stalling in ambivalence for months... and then, came Cheryl....
In 2016, I had been on my spiritual journey for three years. I had taken a bunch of classes, I had sat in practice circles, I did as much in the safety of my own home and select classes as I could...
And then... I got to that uncomfortable place where I felt like I was the college student that kept hanging back with the high schoolers. I heard my teachers say “the best practice is out there in the world, with real sitters" (sitters are what we call clients in the spirit biz)... I knew I was at the critical point of needing to move beyond the classroom in order to continue to grow, and yet, I was scared, scared, scared!
Not only scared, but resistant. I was afraid I wasn't good enough. I was scared that I was not really a medium. I was afraid that I would go out there in the real world, give a bad reading and then discredit all other intuitive and mediums out there who were doing really amazing work. Perhaps it was a little dramatic, but I felt the responsibility of the entire spiritual community rested upon my shoulders; if I went out there and did a poor job, then everyone would think what we are doing is fake and that we are a bunch of frauds. Oh, the pressure!
That was the fear.. and what about the resistance? Well, that was about doing something that felt hard. I am sick of hard. I have done hard, I don't want any more hard! How do I move into this new part of my life without it feeling hard?
The only thing I could think to do was to ask Spirit to show me the way of ease. And that's what I did. I asked every day, just in my head, “If I am supposed to do this, show me how, in a way that feels natural and organic.”
And then I just let go of it. I asked, and released. I did not dwell, I did not search.
On September 10, Dave and I set up our tent at Andover Day. Being our third year tabling at this massive event, we had the procedure down. We set up intentions for ourselves, we planned to take a lunch break to step away from the craziness of the crowds, we brought lots of water and snacks, and nice music to play while we set up.
For those who don't know, my “other job” is being the co-owner of Clear and Now Holistic Healing Center as well as a full-time psychotherapist. (Someone recently called this my “side job,” which I think I may adopt!)
Being a reformed “Quiet Kid,” a lifelong introvert, and having a tendency to be drained by crowds, engaging with small talk with strangers is usually not my first choice of how to spend a Saturday.
My “People Pleaser” acts up, my “Anxious Re-hasher” loves to replay conversations and what else I “should” have said, and my “I Just Wanna Go Home!” usually pouts about being put in a position such as this. However, I have worked with these parts of me for quite some time, so I have found ways to manage all of them and create more fun for myself...
At the start of the day, I turned to Dave and said “Ok, let's make a psychic list. Let's try to guess a few things that will happen to us today. We named a couple things that we may see, like “a dog scuffle” and “a woman who is really excited to see us." Ok, so how about names? Let's guess some names of people who will be important to us today. Dave listed a couple names, I listed “Cheryl.”
We kept the list throughout the day and checked off the things that we “psychic-ed” to happen.
Come lunch time, we put up a sign at our table: “We are practicing good self-care by taking a lunch break. Be back in at 1pm!” Dave and I went off to enjoy a quiet lunch in the park, away from the now people-packed streets.
As we wondered back to our table, we decided to walk along the main strip to see what other vendors were there and to see if we recognized anyone.
“Oh, Cheryl's here...” I said nonchalantly to Dave as we continue walking. Cheryl was a local salon owner and stylist. Dave and I both used her salon when we first moved to town. I specifically sought her out because her salon has a small homey feel. She had a personal touch that made you feel like you were her only client. As we continued to walk by, Dave turned his head more and said “Author? Cheryl wrote a book?”
Well, now this got my attention! I had been working on writing for a few years now and had been slowly warming to the idea that I could potentially write a book. So, now I am curious! We took a quick turn and B-lined right over to Cheryl. I was eager to know everything about her being an author, publishing a book, and how this all came to be.
As she started to share about her journey, I stopped listening.
I had this serious pull... urge... nudge... something.... to tell her I had been doing mediumship work. A fight ensued in my head. Why would I tell her that? I haven’t seen her in years, will she think I am a weirdo? Do I really want to tell someone outside of my student circle? What if she wants me to read her? Do I want to read her? Is this safe? Is this ok?
The feeling built inside me and I could not wait for her to finish her story so that I (or Spirit, rather) could butt in. I had to do it, it just felt right.
“So, I just have this overwhelming feeling to share with you that I have been on a spiritual journey,... (she nodded, so I continued)...and have been studying mediumship (she still seemed open)... and I feel like I need to tell you.. and maybe... you can be a practice client of mine??”
Her eyes widened, she smiled, and of course, she said “Yes! I would love that!”
And what happened after that?
I read her. Many times. And then Cheryl sent a stream of people my way for me to practice, explore, experience. It really wasn't until sometime after this all started happening that I realized I had written the name “Cheryl” on my list that day as someone who would be of importance.
And that's how I stepped out beyond my comfort zone: I asked for help from above... and then, came Cheryl.
Do you have more questions for me? I sure would love to blog the answers for you! Leave your questions and comments below!